I've never considered myself to be a depressed person by any means, but for the last few months, I've teetered on the edge of Debbie Downerdome. And ya, we all go through slumps and ruts, but what I'm just now learning is that in many cases we choose how we feel.
So I decided to choose to be happy, optimistic and hopeful again. Of course I still have my moments of doubt, fear and discouragement, but I'm learning ways to put those in their place and grab hold of the reality of those situations, which is: happiness is there for the taking, I just have to reach out and grab it.
So in an effort to drill this idea deeper into my brain, I've decided to make a few short mini-films featuring the happiest people I know or meet along the way. I asked them each about what makes them happy, and how they fight off sadness or negativity. These will feature people from all walks of life who've made the best of what they have and enjoy a high quality of life because they choose to do so. Not surprisingly, a large portion of these people are the amazing women in my life that I've been lucky enough to come across.
I'm inspired by all of them, and aspire to be more like each. With every interview, I learn a little more about how I can choose a more positive life for myself. And my hope is that if anyone else has downer days, they will click on these shorties and feel a little bit brighter after.
So I started by interviewing my niece, Gwen. She's this bright burst of light and happiness and it spreads wherever she goes. Most kids have that, but somehow as we grow into adults we tend to get jaded and see the world a little more pessimistically. But I don't think we have to.
I think we can still wonder at all the little things life has to offer, and find delight in the everyday. I think we can still be curious about all the people, places and things we encounter along the way. And I think we can all be as optimistic and lighthearted as this little gem.
Here's to a happier, brighter life for all of us :)
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Humans vs. Robots: Pick a Side!
The other day I asked Siri to put a reminder in my calendar. She did, most politely. I thanked her. "Just doing my job!" she said. She's fabulous.
And she's a robot.
And it hit me, as I was actually TELLING her how fabulous she was, that I was a weirdo. Here I am boosting a robot's self-esteem who does not, in fact, have self-esteem. As though she were an old friend.
That's messed up.
But so is the fact that we constantly use technology (as opposed to real, human interaction) as a way to protect our own self-esteem. A quick text, email or comment via Facebook is an incredibly easy way to reach out without making ourselves too vulnerable.
In a nutshell, we've become a bunch of wimps.
I think Sherry Turkle said it best in her recent Ted Talk (thanks for sharing that, Kim!) when she noted that we are becoming a society that is 'alone together'. (If you have 15 minutes, watch it!) Basically, she's noticed how often a group of people will be spending time 'together', not talking, not interacting, but on their individual phones.
Think about the last time you were hanging out with friends and were NOT pulled away from the conversation at least once by a text, email, Facebook comment, instagram update…etc.
I know for myself that this happens EVERY DAY. And I feel a bit of sadness at myself every time it does happen. Am I really passing up on opportunities to have REAL connections with REAL people right in front of me for this tiny, shiny, lifeless thing in my hand? It sorta reminds me of this…
Yep. Every day I respond to texts from other people while 'listening' and nodding along with what the person next to me is saying. I constantly check in with my phone to see what i've missed in the last little while as I hang out with friends or family. And I see everyone else doing the same thing.
What, exactly, do we feel we're missing out on? What could be better than being completely present with the wonderful people we choose to surround ourselves with?
The answer is obvious--nothing. But still we do it. The ever-increasing advances in communication technology seem to create a heightened 'grass-is-greener' feeling in all of us.
And what about playing it safe? What happened to extending ourselves to others, reaching out and putting ourselves out there? it seems non-existent these days. Fear of rejection and vulnerability keeps us texting or emailing about things that should really be said in person or at the very least, on the phone.
Here's a sad fact--in the last 6 months, of all the dates and blind dates I've gone on, only ONE of the guys has actually picked up the phone, called me, and asked me on a date. The rest? Text. They have texted me, cautiously approaching the idea of 'hanging out'.
And up until now, I've just dealt with it. But it has come to bother me so much that I decided I will not even respond to a guy who asks me out via text. Ladies, maybe if we all stopped responding to those, they would actually get back to basics, man up, and call. And while we're on the topic of dating, it would be nice to get back to what my friend Lauren calls 'Organic Dating,' where two people go on dates without fully checking them out and sizing them up via Facebook ahead of time. They actually do the 'getting to know you' in person, face to face. What a concept!
We should ALL try to get back to basics when it comes to this communication/interaction issue. Obviously to keep up in our careers, we have to be mobile, and stay in touch via our phones a lot. But perhaps it's time to take one day a week, and turn the phone off. Get up in nature. Visit with friends. Make a meal. Or instead of texting someone to find out how they're doing, call them or stop by. Or maybe we simply put our phones on silent and away from us when we get together with other living, breathing humans. Because life is short, and we don't want our best memories to be the ones spent alone with our laptops and phones keeping us company via Facebook and Siri.
Because in reality, that's as solo as it gets.
And she's a robot.
And it hit me, as I was actually TELLING her how fabulous she was, that I was a weirdo. Here I am boosting a robot's self-esteem who does not, in fact, have self-esteem. As though she were an old friend.
That's messed up.
But so is the fact that we constantly use technology (as opposed to real, human interaction) as a way to protect our own self-esteem. A quick text, email or comment via Facebook is an incredibly easy way to reach out without making ourselves too vulnerable.
In a nutshell, we've become a bunch of wimps.
I think Sherry Turkle said it best in her recent Ted Talk (thanks for sharing that, Kim!) when she noted that we are becoming a society that is 'alone together'. (If you have 15 minutes, watch it!) Basically, she's noticed how often a group of people will be spending time 'together', not talking, not interacting, but on their individual phones.
Think about the last time you were hanging out with friends and were NOT pulled away from the conversation at least once by a text, email, Facebook comment, instagram update…etc.
I know for myself that this happens EVERY DAY. And I feel a bit of sadness at myself every time it does happen. Am I really passing up on opportunities to have REAL connections with REAL people right in front of me for this tiny, shiny, lifeless thing in my hand? It sorta reminds me of this…
Yep. Every day I respond to texts from other people while 'listening' and nodding along with what the person next to me is saying. I constantly check in with my phone to see what i've missed in the last little while as I hang out with friends or family. And I see everyone else doing the same thing.
What, exactly, do we feel we're missing out on? What could be better than being completely present with the wonderful people we choose to surround ourselves with?
The answer is obvious--nothing. But still we do it. The ever-increasing advances in communication technology seem to create a heightened 'grass-is-greener' feeling in all of us.
And what about playing it safe? What happened to extending ourselves to others, reaching out and putting ourselves out there? it seems non-existent these days. Fear of rejection and vulnerability keeps us texting or emailing about things that should really be said in person or at the very least, on the phone.
Here's a sad fact--in the last 6 months, of all the dates and blind dates I've gone on, only ONE of the guys has actually picked up the phone, called me, and asked me on a date. The rest? Text. They have texted me, cautiously approaching the idea of 'hanging out'.
And up until now, I've just dealt with it. But it has come to bother me so much that I decided I will not even respond to a guy who asks me out via text. Ladies, maybe if we all stopped responding to those, they would actually get back to basics, man up, and call. And while we're on the topic of dating, it would be nice to get back to what my friend Lauren calls 'Organic Dating,' where two people go on dates without fully checking them out and sizing them up via Facebook ahead of time. They actually do the 'getting to know you' in person, face to face. What a concept!
We should ALL try to get back to basics when it comes to this communication/interaction issue. Obviously to keep up in our careers, we have to be mobile, and stay in touch via our phones a lot. But perhaps it's time to take one day a week, and turn the phone off. Get up in nature. Visit with friends. Make a meal. Or instead of texting someone to find out how they're doing, call them or stop by. Or maybe we simply put our phones on silent and away from us when we get together with other living, breathing humans. Because life is short, and we don't want our best memories to be the ones spent alone with our laptops and phones keeping us company via Facebook and Siri.
Because in reality, that's as solo as it gets.
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