Bring on the Bangkok

With Trent's recent medical issues, we've been tied to Bangkok until he is better. We are going on our 10th day here, and Trent's progress is slow but somewhat steady. All in all, we're just glad he's alive and on the road to recovery.

That said, we've had a LOT of time to kill here. Conor hopped a plain to Taipei to visit some friends, leaving Jentry and I to explore the city and find ways to entertain ourselves.

One way we do that is by finding Chenglish phraseology on items sold throughout the city. Chenglish is a word Conor uses to describe the broken-English phrases placed on t-shirts and other products by Asian marketing gurus. The goal, I presume, is to connect with Americans and those fascinated by American culture. The beauty of Chenglish (or in this case I guess it would be Thailish) is that the words are often random and make absolutely no sense whatsoever, causing copious amounts of laughter from the likes of me and Jentry.

For example. The other day I was at the market and found this little gem. 

I rain cloud UK. Um...what? I don't think anyone really knows what this means, but apparently it sounded good when they went to print. Also, the Grocery Store brand description is very helpful, as shown below.

Today at the Grand Palace (one of Bangkok's biggest tourist attractions) Jentry noticed another diamond in the rough--the Mickey Mouse umbrella. Only, the locals seem to have come up with their own words to describe the American icon.

Somehow I don't think 'Lovely Rat' would have gone over as well with American kids. I can see it now: "Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me...L-O-V-E-L-Y R-A-T!"

But the real find, in my opinion, was a beauty product I spotted at a street vendor stall. At first glance, it looks like any other product.

But after giving it a second look, I realized it was actually quite special. See for yourself.

I was baffled as to what a horniness-eliminating cream actually did, and I wasn't sure why it also mentioned whitening. Did it simultaneously eliminate sex drive and plaque? So i asked the vendor lady. She sampled it on my hand and I realized it was an exfoliating body scrub. I guess the best word they could come up with to describe rough skin was horny, hence the anti-horniness messaging. 

You too can dispel horniness in 30 seconds! Perfect for engaged couples.

Reading the usage descriptions was equally enjoyable. 

I'm guessing Asians find it equally humorous when they see Americans walking around with those Chinese symbol tattoos which they think say 'faith' or 'serenity' but in reality say something like, 'I is happy making' or 'smiling I do'. 

Anyway, in addition to Thailish novelties, we've managed to take in some of the cool local attractions as well. Bangkok is actually a really cool city. And even though we are here indefinitely and it's hard at times because everything is so up in the air, we've managed to find some new area of the city to explore each day. Here are a few photos from our exploration... 

 

Grand Palace grounds

Emerald Buddha

Ornate decor on exterior of temples

Jentry in front of a temple that is completely gold.

Beautiful white temples on the grounds.

Street vendors line the sidewalks of Bangkok.

Sukhumvit 7/1. One of many interesting side streets throughout the city.

Enjoying the best chicken schwarma sandwich ever. When we asked for the menu, an Egyptian guy looked at us, then pointed at the two skewers and said, "I have beef. I have Chicken. I am Muhammad." I opted for Chicken.

How do, Hanoi?

So we made it. After almost a year of planning, we finally arrived in Hanoi, the first stop along our two-month itinerary. 

As soon as we exited the plane, we were welcomed to the country, given surgical masks, and our temperatures were taken. Swine flu really has these people paranoid--they even escorted someone off the plane to quarantine him.

So far, I've seen and smelled and tasted things I didn't know existed. For example; I didn't know there was a place in the world where people boil duck eggs just before they hatch and eat them. But apparently baby duck fetuses are a real hit in Hanoi, so naturally we had to try one (and naturally I almost puked). We also tried some silkworms, which were surprisingly tasty. It's like pork in worm form.

There are literally hundreds of thousands or motorcycles here. It's like this glorified biker gang at all times. People ride them into buildings, on sidewalks, and park them wherever they want. There aren't really traffic laws here, so they do whatever they can to just keep moving forward, which results in some chaotic driving experiences. They carry astronomical amounts of crap on them, also. So far we've seen people carrying 20-ft long rhubarb, 8-10 large boxes, trees and even a stash of 8 live pigs on motorcycles at various times.

Another random gem of the trip: our hotel was rented out by the 30-or-so Norwegians who live here to celebrate National Norwegian Day. We kind of crashed the party, but they were warm and welcoming and asked us to join in the fun while a magician performed. The awesome factor of this was very high, but I'll let the picture speak for itself.

But, of course, one of the most significant highlights so far was walking into a restaurant our first day in Hanoi and seeing the cutest weiner dog ever! It looked like a bigger version of Lenny, named Colin. Conor decided it was a good omen. He was so friendly with all of us but decided he liked Conor as more than a friend and proceeded to hump his leg throughout dinner. 

We've successfully documented school children, crazy street life, and feedback from two of Hanoi's most knowledgeable Americans/ex-pats, Lady Borton and Chuck Searcy. Jentry has written about them at http://southeastasiadoc.blogspot.com/ (he will be documenting most of the trip, and he's already posted an amazing entry. Pretty much all the photographs I'll be using are taken by him and Conor, both of whom are fantastic photographers).